Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize