Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
