Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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