I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
