I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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