I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
