Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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