i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
