Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
party gras won. party gras always wins.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
