Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dick has a subreddit
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
