I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
you would pick up someone in the library
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
