Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How does one acquire holy water?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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