i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
