its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can I color on your dick again?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
