NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
