he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
