Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
