if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Did you pee in the oven last night??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
