Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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