ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
