I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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