I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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