i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
