You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize