My hand turned me down
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
