Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
