soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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