GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
