Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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