I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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