I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
