Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
