That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
