never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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