I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
