Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
