Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
