How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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