addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Randomize
