Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
