I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
