now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
