I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
