come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
