No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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