I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
