16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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