Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
