Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
