You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How external is "for external use only"?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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