Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
