I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
