hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
i've created a new STD.
Boobs are out for the taking
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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