well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
birth control should be required to get into college
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
