jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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