I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
