I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
