i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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