Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
