hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
