just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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