Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Randomize